Understanding Pronouns: A Key to Respectful Communication
Using a person’s correct pronouns is a great way to demonstrate acceptance of gender diversity and of an individual’s right to decide what pronouns they use. A pronoun is the word that is used by someone to refer to themselves, or the word that is used by others to describe someone.
Typically, pronouns are gendered e.g. he/his is used by male identifying people and she/hers is used by female identifying people. Gender neutral pronouns, such as they, them or theirs, are common with people who identify as gender diverse, gender fluid and non-binary.
Using gender neutral pronouns can be difficult and takes practice. Most gender diverse people are open to having a discussion about the correct pronouns for them and are happy to guide people around their correct use of pronouns. It is far better to ask someone to ensure you get it right than to guess, which may result is someone being misgendered.
The benefits to using the correct pronouns for young queer people are numerous. Having someone use the correct pronouns is affirming for a young person and makes them feel good about themselves. Using an incorrect pronoun (misgendering someone) can make someone feel awful and the negative impact that this can have for a young queer person’s wellbeing can be significant. It is not easy for people to tell others that they are gender diverse, so by using the correct pronouns for someone it helps them to feel pride in their identity.
It is also important to remember that people may use different pronouns around different people. This can happen for a range of reasons and is another reason why it is important to have the conversation with people around their correct pronouns. This ensures that people are not being “outed” accidentally.
It is vital when supporting the young queer community that pronouns are respected. It is not always possible to know someone’s correct pronouns just by looking at them, so just ask. Asking someone what pronouns they use goes a long way to showing respect for someone’s identify and plays an important role in young queer people having their identities affirmed. It is important to remember that you do not need to understand someone’s pronouns, you just need to respect them.
