Bringing a baby into the world is one of the most life-changing and emotionally intense experiences a couple can go through. While it’s a time filled with love and new beginnings, it also places significant strain on romantic relationships. Sleep deprivation, shifting identities, and the daily demands of caring for a newborn often leave little energy or space for connection as a couple.
The Post-Baby Dip in Relationship Satisfaction
Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, found that 67% of couples experience a drop in relationship satisfaction in the first three years after a baby arrives. If you have kids, it’s probably no surprise why this is the case. During this season of life, you are most likely focused on feeding, sleeping, nappy changes, and sheer survival. Intimacy and quality time often get sidelined, and communication shifts from emotional connection to logistics and to-do lists.
The Power of Everyday Connection
The good news is keeping your relationship strong might take less time than you think. Gottman’s research suggests that it’s not about grand gestures but the smaller moments of connection which help build a solid foundation. In fact, even spending just six hours per week can make a positive difference. Dr Gottman refers to this as the “six hours to a better relationship” and includes:
- Saying goodbye and reconnecting intentionally each day
- Expressing appreciation and admiration
- Showing physical affection
- Going on a weekly date
- Regularly checking in with each other on the relationship (what’s working well and what’s not working so well)
Over time, these small practices add up and they can be even more powerful during the stressful, sleep-deprived season of early parenthood.
When to Seek Support
Be kind to yourself! Becoming parents is a profound transition. While it can strain even the strongest relationships, it can also be a time of growth and deeper connection. Just a few hours a week, invested in the right ways, can help your relationship stay strong through the chaos of early parenting and beyond.
However, if you are unsure where to start or feel disconnected, resentful, or just stuck, then couples therapy may be worthwhile. Strong relationships aren’t built on never struggling – they’re built on showing up and working through it. Couples therapy is available face to face in our Caloundra office, or online Australia wide.
Get in touch with our team to schedule your first appointment and start the journey to a more connected relationship today.
